Living outdoors generally makes it harder to meet one’s basic needs. I’ve found that this lifestyle also leads me to think about the fulfillment of such needs more frequently than usual. As such, it didn’t surprise me when I found myself contemplating the pros and cons of having a port-a-potty around in contrast to a latrine. As I happened to be in a port-a-potty at the time, inspiration was all around. The list looked something like this:
Pros:
Protection from the elements: one rarely feels more vulnerable than when pooping. To do so in the open air is to invite the possibility of interference from numerous bugs, plants, or weather systems. A port-a-potty, while not bug-free, leaves the user feeling much less exposed.
TOILET PAPER. An effective nature wipe is a beautiful thing. Moreover, packing out toilet paper is really not a huge deal. However, there is nothing quite like the sweet release of relinquishing a piece of used toilet paper into the depths of a port-a-potty
Cons:
No view. A good latrine offers the visual enjoyment of open space, preferably with a mountain or a few wildflowers involved. The port-a-potty reveals nothing but a few scratches on the plastic door and the occasional gnarly spider.
There is no good way to avoid looking at what was left behind by those who came before you. A lively crew discussion revealed that there may be a way to avoid eyeing the contents that involves backing up and groping for the seat, then flingin it open a sitting quickly. This, however, is undignified and has the potential to go wrong.
It’s making us soft. First we were assigned cushy vehicles. Then the increased food budget provided us with a nightly dessert. Now, we use the bathroom in a veritable palace. Everyone should experience the trip to the latrine in all weather conditions, the muscular burn of the unsupported, squat, and the sneaking suspicion that the rustling in the bushes is something larger than a bird.
In conclusion, after much thought, toilet paper wins the day. But Crew C is required to announce how soft they have become each time they arrive at a new port-a-potty.
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